


Destructive Memories

by Fallenfae



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fuck you dak, Heavy Angst, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Past Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, brief mention of nsfw, extreme self projection, gosh i wrote this in like ten minutes, it was calming, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27932284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenfae/pseuds/Fallenfae
Summary: Goldenflower was in love. Tigerstar wasn't. But still, the burning remains of his memory plague Goldenflower's mind.
Relationships: Goldenflower/Tigerclaw (Warriors)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Destructive Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Well gosh. This was an impulsive write with a heavy self projection. Found out the guy who groomed me is still active online! Thats kind of what prompted me to write this. Ive always kind of related to Goldenflower in that regard.
> 
> Oh yeah. I don't think i can finish the christmas challenge anymore. Its been really time consuming and I cant handle it.

Oh god. He's still alive.

I didn't want to come. I really didn't. I wanted to stay home and bask in the still darkness of night, but Firestar had absolutely insisted I go, and I can't defy an order.

_Idon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehimIdon'tlovehim_

He's up there, on the highrock. He looks as charismatic as he did when we first met, and I can feel the ghost of his touch, the hot air of his breath on my ear as he touched me. The vulgar words he said as he held me so softly all alone replay in my mind like a scratchy record and I know for certain that as much as I still get light-headed and flustered at those memories, the true monster of a tom I know is still up there, perhaps so far gone he could not even remember my name.

_Why do I care?_

Everything was numb. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him. He showed me the hidden spot between twoleg territory and Thunderclan that to this day no one has discovered yet, and it is nothing but a pure death wish to go there myself. It's abandoned now with nothing but the remnants of our ghosts. We've marked time down with our love, only for it to be exposed to be one sided, torn off like a bandaid to show off just how delusional and stupid I was to believe a cat that great would love a cat...like me. Perhaps I should have known when he wouldn't look into my eyes when we made love, or when he refused to mention me to his friends. Oh, but I did know. I knew and I _chose_ to ignore it for the sake of just how smitten I was, and he used it to his full advantage.

The day he found I was plump with his kittens, he'd already went off to find himself a prettier toy to play with.

I crumpled. Shattered. Whitestorm had tried to tell me. I yelled at him, the poor tom. He was just the middle ground, and yet I couldn't help myself - the storm of emotion I was trapped in was overbearing. Whitestorm and I don't talk much anymore.

Now that lucky bitch is off who knows where having fun, doing whatever it is street whores do while her children struggle up from the _dirt_ to get into the average position of a true warrior. The seething rage I feel for Tigerstar melts into the rage I feel for that fucking kittypet so much that I don't know which is which anymore.

No one knows just how awful Tigerstar is. Even Thunderclan has cats that still believe in his superiority, though the majority only know one thing. _He's bad._ No one, not even Ferncloud, know the soul crushing horrors of falling in love with him. 

I glare daggers into his fur. And for the first time in moons, he turns to catch my eye and meets my gaze.

I lose my breath.


End file.
